Reflections

as I look back over the last 2 years of my life a couple phrases come to mind:

*damage control*
*fight or flight*

I don't want this to come across as hopeless b/c we only learn the most when times are hard. however, for the first time in my life, I'm ready to sit back and flunk out of school for a while.

everyone keeps telling me that the first year with MS is the hardest and I would agree. I am also told that the first two years as a counselor are the most difficult, in which I would also agree. so, this last year has been one of the most difficult I have ever experienced in my short life.

I'm ready for the pendulum to swing back to the middle and quit being on the extremes. I truly want to find harmony in my personal life, my health, my career, and my finances. as you can imagine, these all intertwine, so I'm just waiting for the domino effect to occur. I believe this will most likely start with me and my state of mind, which has been a bit precarious as of late.

I've noticed a change in me and I also know my family and friends have as well. I sometimes think they don't all understand how emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining my job is. when I have time off, I sit around and do nothing. I don't know where my joy has gone, but my spark is slowly being snuffed out. either that, or I'm just becoming more introverted the older I get.

here's to finding joy and staying hopeful for 2010
L