I think we can all agree that as we lose weight, we start to feel better about ourselves and have more confidence. What I've noticed in my own journey is, I got so caught up in the weight loss that, if I'd gain, my world was crushed. This led to feelings of depression, withdrawal from people, and then I got the 'f*@k its.' The f-its go a little like this: "Well, I already 'cheated' today. F-it. I'll go eat my body weight in Ben & Jerrys." In that context most people can relate. I was an 'all or nothing' kinda gal.
My self-worth became dependent on how much weight I lost and how many times I went to the gym that week. I was so shame-based with my body image and weight loss. I was terrified (literally) of gaining back weight, but I would do things that did just that (i.e., eating my body weight in ice cream, not exercising, etc.).
I have so much anxiety around food, which is why I like Medifast b/c it takes the guesswork out of it. I am someone who NEEDS structure to their food intake. I've become a lot more aware of mindless eating, eating as a result of boredom, eating b/c I'm thirsty, and eating b/c I am feeling sad or ashamed. Shame is my 'achilles heal.' Shame is an emotion everyone feels, but no one wants to talk about. I suspect many of you have experienced shame as a result of being overweight? Maybe you heard things like: "Why can't you just stop eating (insert food)?" "What's wrong with you?" "It's a simple matter of calories in and calories out!" (if that were true, our eating/weight problems would not be as prevalent as they are). Here's the big reality: Shame has NEVER motivated someone to implement lasting change. For some, it may in the beginning, but you can't keep up that same work based out of shame. However, our culture uses shame to motivate in so many ways (think things like politics, religion, parenting, relationships, etc.).
I have had to cultivate a willingness to make changes. I used to be willful (meaning, knowing what you need to do to be effective and NOT doing it) and then realized how that was setting me up for failure. MF has been that willingness for me. It's allowed me to see what happens when I eat what my body NEEDS and not what my mind and emotions want. It's allowed me to readjust my taste buds, so I no longer crave heavy sauces, fatty snacks, and candy. That kind of diet led to consistent food comas and worse feelings about myself. I became willing to say "I need help because I don't feel able to do this on my own!" Most of all, I had to be willing to be an active participant in my life, instead of numbing out with food. It allowed me to stop hiding behind my body weight and stop using it as an excuse to flow with life.
The biggest lesson has been to enjoy my life as I have it now and not "If I weighed 160 pounds, then my life would be happy, easy, carefree." That is not based in reality. It's some half-cocked notion that I lived a great deal of my life in, until a few years ago. When I do weigh 160 pounds (or 170, whichever), I will still be me. It's not as if I will wake up that morning that the scale reads the number I want and, magically, all my problems will disappear. That kind of thing ONLY happens in movies and fairy tales.
Enjoy the journey because life is a marathon and not a sprint. If you don't remember the hard stuff, you will take it for granted. It's the hard moments when we learn the most from...
Laura
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
DBT?
You may wonder what DBT stands for? DBT stands for Dialectical (not Diabolical) Behavior Therapy and it is a cognitive behavioral therapy created by *Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. (she is my idol!). I was fortunate enough to be introduced to this theory at my first job out of my Masters. I was trained under her protocol that she uses and was blessed enough to meet her in person!!
DBT blends eastern practices of mindfulness with skills training. Clients learn skills such as Emotion Regulation, Impulse Control, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. The core of this program is teaching people to "Create a life worth living." Her theory is pretty amazing stuff!!
If followed in true form, DBT is a year long commitment. Clients participate in weekly individual sessions (skill practice) and group sessions (learning skills). You go through the program twice in that year because it can be a bit overwhelming the first time through. However, once you have the 'light bulb' moment, nothing in your life will EVER be the same. You can't undo or take away the awareness you have now learned.
So, why do I bring this up on a blog for Medifast? Take Shape for Life, in conjunction with Medifast, are all about creating healthy lifestyles. It's not JUST about losing the weight. It's about creating healthy habits to adapt into the rest of your life. DBT is all about creating a life worth living. Teaching people new skills to improve their life through addressing self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries with others, and allowing them to see life can be better.
Many people use food as a coping mechanism for unpleasant feelings, such as fear, sadness, anxiety, and guilt or shame. Most people, when they lose their primary coping skill, begin to supplement with another coping skill, be it positive or negative. DBT is just one of many counseling theories that is effective at addressing life issues. It is by no means the only way. It is the way I was trained, which is why I write about it. I think it's a pretty fantastic theory and I am passionate about sharing it with others, just as I am passionate about Medifast and being a Health Coach. I want to help people improve their life, no matter what that improvement may be.
What I can speak to, is how DBT has helped me in my own weight loss journey, my life, and my outlook on my future. I honestly don't know where I would be without my skill-base from this training. I am more aware of my emotions, how they feel in my body, and judgments and choices I make. I can combat my emotional impulses with logic and talk myself out of negative downward spirals. It has truly helped me stay on track with choosing a healthier lifestyle for myself. However, this is only my personal experience with DBT. As all methods, individual results may vary.
(I personally think DBT should be taught to adolescents/teenagers in every school across the country, but what do I know.)
How have you taken a step to 'create a life worth living?'
Laura
PS-If you are interested in learning more about DBT and want to see if there is a trained facilitator in your area, go to www.behavioraltech.com and you can search for a clinician there.
*I have not been compensated by Dr. Linehan, or her affiliates, for my mentioning her in my blog.
DBT blends eastern practices of mindfulness with skills training. Clients learn skills such as Emotion Regulation, Impulse Control, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. The core of this program is teaching people to "Create a life worth living." Her theory is pretty amazing stuff!!
If followed in true form, DBT is a year long commitment. Clients participate in weekly individual sessions (skill practice) and group sessions (learning skills). You go through the program twice in that year because it can be a bit overwhelming the first time through. However, once you have the 'light bulb' moment, nothing in your life will EVER be the same. You can't undo or take away the awareness you have now learned.
So, why do I bring this up on a blog for Medifast? Take Shape for Life, in conjunction with Medifast, are all about creating healthy lifestyles. It's not JUST about losing the weight. It's about creating healthy habits to adapt into the rest of your life. DBT is all about creating a life worth living. Teaching people new skills to improve their life through addressing self-esteem, setting healthy boundaries with others, and allowing them to see life can be better.
Many people use food as a coping mechanism for unpleasant feelings, such as fear, sadness, anxiety, and guilt or shame. Most people, when they lose their primary coping skill, begin to supplement with another coping skill, be it positive or negative. DBT is just one of many counseling theories that is effective at addressing life issues. It is by no means the only way. It is the way I was trained, which is why I write about it. I think it's a pretty fantastic theory and I am passionate about sharing it with others, just as I am passionate about Medifast and being a Health Coach. I want to help people improve their life, no matter what that improvement may be.
What I can speak to, is how DBT has helped me in my own weight loss journey, my life, and my outlook on my future. I honestly don't know where I would be without my skill-base from this training. I am more aware of my emotions, how they feel in my body, and judgments and choices I make. I can combat my emotional impulses with logic and talk myself out of negative downward spirals. It has truly helped me stay on track with choosing a healthier lifestyle for myself. However, this is only my personal experience with DBT. As all methods, individual results may vary.
(I personally think DBT should be taught to adolescents/teenagers in every school across the country, but what do I know.)
How have you taken a step to 'create a life worth living?'
Laura
PS-If you are interested in learning more about DBT and want to see if there is a trained facilitator in your area, go to www.behavioraltech.com and you can search for a clinician there.
*I have not been compensated by Dr. Linehan, or her affiliates, for my mentioning her in my blog.
What Medifast Has Taught Me
I have tried nearly every diet in the book. And every diet in the book set me up for failure. It's not that their product or technique didn't work, it just didn't work FOR ME. I remember when I first went on Medifast. I had no confidence in myself (or the diet for that matter), I was severely depressed b/c I was miserable and lonely. I had basically crawled into myself and wanted to hibernate the rest of my life away. I was using food to numb out all these feelings that I didn't want to experience. I have used food most my life when I'm happy, sad, mad, or scared. I suspect many of you can relate?
What Medifast allowed me to do was see that I have choices in my life. No matter what the circumstance, there are always choices and there are always natural consequences. After I started losing weight, I started to have more confidence in myself (and the program). I started to say 'no' to people and 'yes' to my life. I'm pretty sure I have angered some people along the way, but that happens when you stand up for yourself and start setting boundaries.
I learned that I am beautiful and worthy of having love. I learned that I am good enough. I don't have to be perfect. "Perfection" is a word that sets people up for failure (I also think "normal" is as well). I can be me and I can make mistakes while being me. I now give myself permission to take time out for self-care (i.e, exercise, massage, acupuncture, etc.). I realize that I HAVE to put myself first, but not in a self-centered, narcissistic way. I have become 'self-focused' in order to love myself and be a healthy wife, daughter, friend, cousin, therapist, and eventually mother (some day).
I have learned so much these past few years. I have been tested over and over again, to brink of insanity sometimes. My clients teach me the most though. Just when I think I've had enough, I hear their stories of survival from some pretty awful trauma. I think, "If they can do it, I can do it." Living my life (and I mean LIVING, not EXISTING) is a choice I make each day when I wake up.
What do you choose for yourself today?
Blessings on your journey to finding your happiness and who you are,
Laura
What Medifast allowed me to do was see that I have choices in my life. No matter what the circumstance, there are always choices and there are always natural consequences. After I started losing weight, I started to have more confidence in myself (and the program). I started to say 'no' to people and 'yes' to my life. I'm pretty sure I have angered some people along the way, but that happens when you stand up for yourself and start setting boundaries.
I learned that I am beautiful and worthy of having love. I learned that I am good enough. I don't have to be perfect. "Perfection" is a word that sets people up for failure (I also think "normal" is as well). I can be me and I can make mistakes while being me. I now give myself permission to take time out for self-care (i.e, exercise, massage, acupuncture, etc.). I realize that I HAVE to put myself first, but not in a self-centered, narcissistic way. I have become 'self-focused' in order to love myself and be a healthy wife, daughter, friend, cousin, therapist, and eventually mother (some day).
I have learned so much these past few years. I have been tested over and over again, to brink of insanity sometimes. My clients teach me the most though. Just when I think I've had enough, I hear their stories of survival from some pretty awful trauma. I think, "If they can do it, I can do it." Living my life (and I mean LIVING, not EXISTING) is a choice I make each day when I wake up.
What do you choose for yourself today?
Blessings on your journey to finding your happiness and who you are,
Laura
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