In the simplest terms a phobia is nothing but an irrational fear. I couldn't help but think of this as I lay in the MRI "tube" today. I am not afraid of much, in my eyes. I'll free spiders instead of killing them, I have a bat that flies around the outside of my apartment complex that I have lovingly nicknamed "Fred", I love the water and wish I had gills to breathe in it, I like the way heights make me dizzy and make my heart beat faster, and I have about 11 tattoos and numerous piercings; you get the point. However, I have a phobia of being buried alive. I'm not claustrophobic, thank goodness. So why is it I can overcome these fears, but when it comes to challenges in life, I either shutdown or want to run away?
This has been my pattern for as long as I can remember. If I can't get it right on the first try, I give up, which makes no sense when you really think about it. I was like this with ballet, the violin, college coursework, etc. For one of the first times in my life, I am being confronted with challenges daily and am unable to run away. I've tried, but the lesson I'm not learning keeps getting put before me. For whatever reason, the universe (God, whatever you call it for yourself) wants me to be where I'm at and I have more to learn. Only time will tell what is to unfold for me. Until then, I continue to practice patience, mindfulness, and gratitude...
Nothing in life comes easy and when it does, you don't value it as much. Thank you for the challenges put before me today and give me the clarity of mind to appreciate the beauty in the struggle.
Love & Light,
L
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