I feel that I have lost the ability to find pleasure in daily things. My focus has been on the negative lately and I really dislike this dark place I tend to go to. For so long I have put everything on the back burner to sacrifice for school. I used to find happiness in pleasing others, but lately that is not enough for me. I want more out of life than living to help others. What happened to all the dreams I had as a little girl? Reality hit, that's what.
I graduated from my 10 year adventure from college, gaining a Bachelors and Masters and a massive amount of debt. All the lofty dreams I had of hitting it big time in my chosen career field came to a screaming halt when I realized how limited my job offerings were, just starting out. After a layoff not of my own doing, a car accident, and a diagnosis of MS at 28 years old I felt like I had hit rock bottom. The final straw was my jeep getting broken into and I remember looking up at the sky and asking God if there was anything else to throw in my way. Might as well kick me when I'm down.
Lately, I have had more people ask me "What makes you happy? In what do you find joy in life?" Sadly, I have no reply to this. This blog will mark my journey in finding what truly makes me happy. I want to find this soon and not when my bills are paid off, or when I have 30 pounds off, or when I am married and have a house, etc. I'm trying to get myself out of the "If/then" syndrome and find my joy in daily life.
Many Blessings and Good Luck w/Your Own Adventures,
L
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